


The Hardest Part

by Cranberrytaboo



Category: Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Devotion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-07
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 16:22:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22160050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cranberrytaboo/pseuds/Cranberrytaboo
Summary: Boone feels a heavy weight on his heart regarding his relationship to Clint. Clint endeavors to assuage his concerns.
Relationships: Clint Alameda/ Craig Boone, Male Courier/Craig Boone
Comments: 1
Kudos: 13





	The Hardest Part

**Author's Note:**

> I literally built this fic around a single line that popped into my head while suffering from jetlag, and now you all get to deal with it.

Boone had always had a hard time pinpointing his feelings about Clint Alameda.

When they first met, Boone had initially been annoyed by Clint's abrasive behavior and blatant disregard for personal space, but he found Clint to be a reliable person. His decision to entrust Clint with the one of the most personal and vulnerable pieces of himself, in order to get his help, had been spur-of-the-moment, but he had been glad afterwards that he did. Even when he expected Clint to just move on after their task together was complete and payment was given, Clint instead asked him to follow. Without anywhere else to turn, Boone did.

Thus, his feelings only grew more complicated. The longer they spent together, the bolder the cowboy became. They spent countless cold nights huddled close together, Boone's back pressed against Clint's broad chest. Boone didn't quite know how to express it, but that time had been comfortable, safe. He felt contented by it. Something he didn't realize he could feel again, after everything he'd been through.

But then he fucked it all up. Clint's ambition was to rule, and like the brainwashed, toe-the-line soldier he was, Boone didn't follow. It was a mistake he regretted for years to come.

Then, Clint came back for him, in the form of a letter. One night of passion, later, Boone was faced with another ultimatum. This time, he chose Clint over duty. But, was it enough? Boone certainly didn't feel like it was.

He could still see the hurt in Clint's eyes, he could still feel the lingering tendrils of resentment that wrapped themselves around the lizard-man's heart, making him colder, hollower, more cynical. Clint had always been a harsh and sometimes cruel man, but the aura of the man before him was far cry from the brightness he was used to. Boone completely blamed himself.

One particularly rough day led into a particularly rough night. Any soldier, of course, had their fair share of issues, and Boone always tried to be reasonable, but he was afraid for the future. He had already lost so much, for someone so young, and who was to say he wouldn't lose more? His panic left him pacing, a hand occasionally ghosting over his arms, his stomach, his face, restless and scared. He thought to go to Clint... He couldn't. He felt his face burn with shame just from the thought. How would he deserve to seek Clint out for comfort, when Clint had been through so much more than him? Clint, almost twice his age, had been through things that Boone couldn't begin to fathom, and he felt sick just from the idea that he could ask more of the man who had already been so generous as to take him back.

However, Clint was a perceptive sort, and the sound of footsteps circling the room had caught his attention. A large, calloused hand turned the doorknob as he entered the room. "Boone..? What's goin' on, why are ya pacin' so much? Antsy?" Clint, of course, knew something was wrong, but he'd spent enough time with Boone to know it was hard to get him to just open up.

He didn't expect Boone to immediately go to him. Boone, for his part, was grateful that he always wore his sunglasses. It kept him hidden. Safer. Stronger.

"Clint, how do you put up with me at all?"

Clint was taken aback. He certainly hadn't anticipated such a question right off the bat. "What are ya talking about?" He stepped over to Boone, simple enough with the length of his legs, and rested one hand on the younger man's shoulder, the other taking the glasses Boone had just been so grateful for. Boone tried to look away, but was stopped by a gentle but firm hand holding his chin in place.

He cast his gaze downward. "You have to deal with so much bullshit from me... I'm a nag, and a hassle, and neurotic, and have more baggage than you should ever have to deal with..." His eyes squinted, his mouth twisting as he tried to keep himself composed. "I'm sorry that I'm so hard to love."

The large hand slid from Boone's chin to the back of his neck, fondling his nape. "Don't say shit like that, Boone. Listen to me. Lovin' you is the easiest thing I ever did." Clint's expression softened and saddened. "It's missing you that's the hardest part."

A simple, but clear confession that sent Boone over the edge. Tears burned against his cheeks as he pressed himself close to Clint's chest, murmuring apologies and promising his devotion to the cowboy over and over again. Clint simply held Boone close, wiping at his cheeks to try and soothe him. After a brief time, he pulled Boone from his chest, only to press their lips together, a vow and a motion of forgiveness in its own right.

And it was more than Boone could ever ask.


End file.
